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We lost Coal today.

I haven’t cried so hard in I don’t know how long. I’m angry because she still had so much life in her and beyond sad to lose a member of the family. I’m not even sure how it all happened.

Shortly after Pete went to work today, I took Coal outside. She was battling some neck/back issues (stiffness, whimpering when you barely touch her, etc.) and was still in pain today. She got to the grass, lost her balance, tripped over herself and collapsed in the flower bed. I finally got her up and moved her to the deck before calling the vet. The woman I spoke to said the doctor would call me back, but I called again a few minutes later because Coal was barely moving and went completely limp. I brought her inside. On the second call, the woman told me to bring her to urgent care. I quickly put my shoes on, grabbed a couple of things and was about to put Coal in the car, but it was too late.

I cried for about an hour and a half straight until Pete got home, then started again when he left with Coal wrapped in the sheet she was laying on. We were both torn up by the whole thing and I gave myself a headache. I've never lost a pet like that, and it really is like losing a kid. I also felt guilty, thinking, "I shouldn't have wasted time calling the vet; I should've just gone," but I don't think it would have made any difference. I felt slightly ridiculous for getting so emotional over a pet, but Sara told me that's normal and Sara isn't usually that emotional.

When Pete left, I didn't want to see Coal's hair on the carpet, I didn’t want to see her food dish, her chew toy or her pawprints on the deck. We just got her June 29 and I thought we would have her much longer. I was looking forward to taking her to TN next weekend. I washed her things and put them away so I wouldn't have to look at them.

I wonder if it was a bad reaction to some medication or something internal, but I guess we have to focus on the positive. At least we gave her a good home for a couple of months and at least I was here when it happened. We did what the vets told us to do and tried to make her as comfortable as possible.

I called Ester's sister today (the one who gave us Coal) and told her what happened. I was afraid she would think we didn't take good care of her, but she was very understanding and sympathetic. She said she knows we did all we could do.

I guess this is why people make movies like "All Dogs Go to Heaven."