8 years and counting

Emily turned 8 Sunday. She got a guinea pig as an early birthday present and named it Waffles, but it died three days later of a respiratory infection, which I didn't know guinea pigs could get. Luckily, Mom and Dad had two weeks to return it, so they got another one and Emily named it Milky Way.

I'm not one for rodents, but it's pretty cute, although it, too, is now sick, so I hope it doesn't die. (Emily tried a couple of fish earlier this summer, and that didn't work, either.) Mom says this one also has a respiratory issue and ear infection. To quote Mom exactly, "He stumbles around crazy like, bless his heart." She has to give it antibiotics, and she said it makes her appreciate Daisy (the dog).

Emily likes it, though, and totes it around everywhere. She said you can't touch it after putting perfumy things on because it is "sensitive to scentses."

Pete and I went to TN over the weekend to partake in the celebrations. Emily had just returned from Justice (formerly Limited Too for those of you in the dark like I was) and showed me the hand soap that she got at "Bed Bath and Body Works."

The next day (Saturday), we went to the park to meet a bunch of Emily's friends, including several girls with more energy than the Energizer bunny and a cute boy named Phillip who always wanted to sit next to Emily. She had a Hawaiian theme, so everyone got leis. (Mental note: It's easier to know which kids belong to your party that way.)

Oh, and I got to decorate cupcakes for her Sunday school class. I tried to make a baseball, but it looked like blue ivy.

Abortion clinic

I went to an abortion clinic with Stephanie, Ester and Mike on Saturday.

Stephanie goes a lot and told me to expect one group of protesters to have posters of aborted babies and microphones. She was right. As I drove up, one man stepped a little closer to my car with a disgusting picture of a baby. Another guy yelled at me not to do it as I parked in the parking lot.

Of course I wasn't there for myself, which they realized when I moved my car to the street. Protesters aren't supposed to park in the parking lot I guess. I waited on the other three to get there and we stood on the sidewalk (we aren't allowed near the building).

We didn't yell or call people murderers as they walked in the door like the other group did. We just asked people as they drove up if they wanted some information. A few people took it, but most didn't. One man said he and his girlfriend (?) would read it before they went in, but I think her mind was made up.

I honestly think the other group of people (all guys) have good intentions -- they made some true, hard-hitting points -- but I think their approach is all wrong. Maybe a mic is the only way to be heard sometimes, but yelling at people just turns them off. Yes, deal with the issue, but also consider the people involved. And evangelizing, while important, might not be the best place to start in such a situation.

One Hispanic woman brought her daughter to give out information. Another older lady sat in a lawn chair, videotaping the protesters. Stephanie said she puts videos on YouTube to show how crazy "we" are.

On the flip side, two security guards hung around their SUVs, smoking, playing a guitar or turning on loud music to drown out the mic. One got into an argument with one of the protesters and threatened to blow him away. (So that's OK, but you agree with abortion?) He ripped up one of Ester's handouts after asking if he could have one.

Some women looked upset driving up. One couple had a little girl in the backseat. Most avoided eye contact or drove into the parking lot as quick as possible.

I’ve never been in their shoes, so I can't pretend I know what they are going through, but I do know that ending an innocent life is wrong.

We see it on the news all the time: a person murdered at the bus stop, a parent drown his 3-year-old. We shake our heads and know it’s wrong, but what happens when abortion comes up?

Maybe a woman says she isn't ready to be a mother. I can relate to that. I’m 24 and married, I have a job, and I’m not ready to be a mom, either. I’d like to be someday, but babies take time, energy and money. They’re a lot of work.

But a pregnant woman is already a mother. A baby begins forming at conception. It has a heartbeat at 21 days old. It wouldn’t be easy to swallow if I found out today I was going to have a baby, but it would be my responsibility and Pete's, too. Actions have consequences.

One woman said she wasn't there for an abortion. I think she drove a friend.

Maybe a person doesn’t personally agree with abortion, but thinks people should make their own decisions.

If a person came up and held a gun to your friend’s head, what would you do? Hopefully you would plead with that person not to shoot. But if he then turns to your friend’s child, what do you do then? Say, “Well that’s OK, as long as her mom agrees”?

Just because you can’t see the baby or doctors hide the ultrasound doesn’t mean there’s not a life in there.

Maybe a woman was raped or the baby is deformed. I can't imagine dealing with that and hope that people in that situation know there is support for them. Yet God says no child is a mistake. There’s a plan for each one of His children. We may not understand it yet, but He has our best interests at heart and uses situations, even like that, for good.

Abortion isn’t the easy way out; it’s not a solution to any anxiety, anger or pain. This is a decision that follows a person a lifetime and ends the life of another.

One boy, probably about 17, drove his girlfriend on Saturday. I didn't hear all he said to one of the protesters, but it was something along the lines of "well, we didn't want it." It's not asking a waitress to hold the tomatoes; it's a person.

My friend had an abortion last year at the age of 21. She wonders what her baby would look like, how he or she would smile or if her son or daughter would have her sense of adventure and bad sense of directions.

I don't know the people who went to the clinic Saturday, but I care about them. They have options; some couples would love to have children but can’t. There are doctors who will see them for free and others who will help care for that child. An innocent child shouldn't suffer because it's inconvenient for the parents. We all have a right to life.

Game night

Pete and I decided to host a game night last night. This is what I found out:

1.) Game night is not games + friends.

2.) Game night is Pete mowing + me pulling weeds and picking up sticks in the yard for 3 hours + cleaning the house + making punch and a meat/cheese/cracker platter + putting mirrors and candle holders on the wall + buying and hanging the curtains I've been wanting + staying out of Pete's way when he gets flustered hanging the curtains ("It would have cost 10 cents more for a decent anchor!") ... and THEN games + friends.

The mowing and cleaning had to be done anyway, but I was thinking how much work goes into hosting something and it made me laugh. You want to be a good host, but I'm sure that guests rarely notice the dusted blinds, clean windows, weedless flower beds or spotless toilets. Still, I want everything to be just right; heaven forbid they go home with dirty bare feet or spot a spot on the stove. (Of course, I'm also one of those who likes to be tidy and says everything has its place, so I'm often like that even when no one is around.)

We ended up with 9 people, including Kevin and Catherine's cute-as-a-button 8-month-old, and it was a lot of fun. We ate, talked and made fun of each other during Cranium (think human puppeteering and Pete trying to act out a hampster wheel). We never fully finished it, but Pete and I were dead last. (I say it was because our playing piece had a bouffant that weighed it down.)

Hanging Rock (in the rain)

Alex wanted to go camping for her bachelorette party, so last weekend, me, Sarah, Sara and Alex piled into Sara's Jeep and drove to Hanging Rock. Matthew (Alex's fiance) stayed behind to hang out with Pete, talk guns and play video games until 4 the next morning. :)
We stopped at Steak 'N' Shake on the way up and service was slow so we were back on the road a little later than we expected. Sarah started feeling sick (combo of curvy roads and a milkshake?), but it eventually passed. We got to our campsite and pitched a tent in the rain. Alex told Sara to bring her rain jacket, but didn't bring her own, so she probably got the wettest. (She said she didn't believe the forecast for 60% chance of rain.) Sarah turned a trash bag into a trendy, cap-sleeved tunic.

We had plans for s'mores, but couldn't build a fire in the rain, so we watched the big family across from us, cooking and laughing under a couple of tarps tied to trees. They were prepared. I told the group we should be friends with them so they would give us bacon in the morning. We ate the s'mores ingredients, had drinks and wore tiaras and glow bracelets instead. (We had way too much food, but then again, is that possible?) I also brought along a bride-to-be quiz for Alex, and of course her answers were entertaining.

Later, the four of us scrunched into a tent, talked and listened to the rain come down harder, hoping we wouldn't get wet. We didn't! Success! We did, however, get little sleep thanks to the loud rain and hard ground, but oh well.

The next morning, we hiked to a waterfall. It was so misty and the rain so frequent that we never actually saw Hanging Rock or went canoeing. Still, as the Sara(h)s put it, it was way more fun than it should have been.

Ashley Madison, a "guaranteed" affair

This is from my blog at work, posted earlier today.  

Fellow reporter, Jason, recently heard about a website, AshleyMadison.com, through a press release he received at work. The site has a banner boasting, “Life is short. Have an affair.” I felt sick to my stomach reading about it.

Ashley Madison is a dating site for married people. It guarantees a “successful” affair within three months of joining for the low price of $249. They promise no one will know, but have a refund policy just in case.

The company started in 2001 and has more than 6.5 million members across the U.S., Canada and the UK.

“In today’s world, life and relationships have become increasingly complicated and boring,” the site says.

It’s not that people don’t care about their partners, it says, just that they “want more” out of them. One woman says having an affair can send a “wake up call” to your partner so he or she will try harder to please you. That’ll teach ’em.

Really? I can think of another way, like communication. Happy relationships aren’t built on selfishness anyway; they aim to love and serve your partner unconditionally. Couples doing that won’t be bored and definitely won’t lose the spark.

But wait, the site isn’t a bad thing. It actually suggests that couples “seek counseling” if they have problems. How thoughtful.

In the FAQ section, it says, “Ashley Madison does not encourage anyone to stray or have an affair, despite our trademark, ‘Life is short, have an affair.’”

I laughed out loud. “Despite what we say, that’s not what we think.”

Ashley Madison claims its role is to “keep clients from taking unnecessary risks and being subject to exposure while they explore the feelings that got them to various websites related to cheating.”

Why get in trouble when you can pay $250 for a discreet cheat? The site wants to make a client’s experience “a positive one” and says it doesn’t make a person more likely to cheat any more than “increasing the availability of glassware contributes to alcoholism.”

Yet, members are required to correspond with other members a certain number of times each month and must provide profile pictures for the first three months of their membership since people with photos are more likely to be contacted.

The president of Ashley Madison, Noel Biderman, says his site will “increase the likelihood of a successful affair.”

What I don’t get is why people think this type of thing will make them happy, that it’s the answer to a dull marriage. Yes, let’s break the marriage covenant by cheating on our spouses, and everything will be better, life is fulfilling again.

How do people stoop so low to disrespect, dishonor and humiliate their lifelong partners, whether they know about the affair or not? And for what — some temporary, self-centered pleasure on the side?

Why not go away for the weekend and leave the kids with a relative? Cook Thai together and laugh when you mess up? Analyze a stupid movie? Take dance lessons? Fly kites and pretend you’re 10 again?

The same day Jason told me about Ashley Madison, I was listening to the radio on the way to work. The hosts were talking about cheating and brought up one guy who told his wife about dinner with his female co-worker so she wouldn’t suspect him cheating, even though he was.

How dumb, one host said; why not hide it?

I’ve got a better idea: Why not cheat in the first place?

Jason is a single guy with a girlfriend, and I’ve been married for three months. We shook our heads at the site and briefly contemplated not even posting this blog in case we encourage potential Ashley Madison members.

How sad that we even have to think that way, and how disappointing and shameful that so many people think this is OK. The site can guarantee nothing but broken relationships and unhappiness. No affair is a success.

Road trip to MN

Eight states in 24 hours.

Pete and I spent the weekend driving to and from MN for his brother's wedding.

“You drove?!” everyone said when we got there.

Sure did, and saved a few hundred bucks, too. :) From decorating for the groom’s dinner, photos and the actual wedding to packing two cars with gifts and attending the gift opening, it was a whirlwind and I wasn't even the one in white this time. Exhausting and a ton of fun. Plus, I got free fake flowers to bring home.


TRIP UP
Leave 8 p.m. Wednesday, short pit stop in Charlotte.

Hour 1 (9 p.m.): Pete’s idea of a planned route is a sheet of paper with a city name pointing to the next city name. I’m pro-GPS for this trip.

Hour 2 (10 p.m.): Full of Arby’s. Pete discovers it’s hard to dip fries in honey mustard while driving. Listening to “This American Life” podcast and playing with gadgets in rental car. Pete accidentally calls someone when he connects his phone to the car’s Bluetooth device.

Hour 6 (2 a.m.): First stop for gas in Ohio, just over the West Virginia border. Feels good to stand. I’ve been sleeping since the last update. My turn to drive!

Hour 7 (3:30 a.m.): Loving cruise control. Why can’t my ’93 Corolla have this? Lots of fog and signs for deer, not a good combo.

Hour 9 (5 a.m.): Passing Cincinnati on our way to Indiana. When does the sun rise anyway?

Hour 10 (6 a.m.): Pit stop in Indiana. Lots of farms along the highway. Getting the munchies.

Hour 14 (9:30 a.m., now an hour behind): Greetings from Peoria, Illinois! Just passed the Mark Twain Hotel and couldn’t get my camera in time to take a picture. Passed the Indianapolis Speedway earlier, but driving too fast then, too. Addicted to Chickadees, a Goldfish knockoff shaped like chicks.

Hour 15 (10:30 a.m.): Had an hour and a half of work to put in today, typed a couple of stories from the car. Finished just as I was feeling sick from looking down and reading.

Hour 17 (12:30 p.m.): Iowa = endless green corn fields. I’d like to run through one, but attempt pictures instead. Iowa also has the world’s largest truck stop off I-80. Lunch at the Homesteader Travel Plaza. Hour 20 (3:30 p.m.): Empty light on, gas stations 50 miles apart, minor panic. Fill up with 20 miles to spare. Pass a truck of piglets!

Hour 23 (6 p.m.): We’re he-ere!

TRIP BACK
Leave 6:30 p.m. Sunday

Hour 1 (7:30 p.m.): St. Olaf! True to my “Golden Girls” fan status, we stop for pictures at St. Olaf College. Rose Nyland would be proud. Hour 2 (8:30 p.m.): Analyzing a “Something Corporate” song and decide the singer is kind of whiney. Tempted to stop at 24-hour Amish market. About to cross the Mississippi into Wisconsin.

Hour 3 (9:30 p.m.): Break out the Gummi Bears. Establish that my favorite flavor is lemon. Pete is between grape and orange. Full moon!

Hour 5 (11:30 p.m.): Exhausted. What day is it again?

Hour 9 (3:30 a.m.): Got a nap in. Gas station guy said our rental car looks cool.

Hour 11 (6 a.m., back to NC time): Sunrise over Indianapolis. More country radio stations than I expected. Got a picture of the speedway this time!
Hour 15 (noon): Pete fixing his shoe in the car with super glue. Lots of road work signs, no road workers.

Hour 18 (3 p.m.): Virginia. Pete stressed about getting the rental car back in time. A couple of toll roads to pay for the road work not being done.

Hour 21 (6 p.m.): Home sweet home and on time to get the rental back. I need to run 10 miles after sitting all day, but I would do it all over again.

Mini adventure

Today after church, I told Pete that I needed to be out of the house for a while. The majority of my day at work is spent inside, so I need out on the weekends or I'll go crazy.

I suggested going to Landsford Canal State Park in South Carolina, about an hour away, and tired but supportive Pete agreed. I had never been before, but I was sure it would be fun.

Mental picture: A cool breeze blows our hair as we peacefully recline on a grassy embankment overlooking a gently lapping lake or bubbling brook. We chat about life and share trail mix.

Actual picture: We get lost a couple of times before getting out of the car to a muggy 91 degrees. It's so humid that my shirt sticks to my back within 10 minutes and my hair feels like a 15-pound mat on my head. We walk through a few spider webs as I tell Pete this isn't as enjoyable as I thought it would be, reach a "scenic overlook" 3/4 of a mile in where the flowers aren't in bloom, snap a couple of pictures and quickly walk back to the car because I'm a pansy and tired of sweating and shooing away small insects. It starts to rain, and the white chocolate chips in my trail mix melt in the trunk.

"Thanks for getting us out of the house today," Pete tells me on the way home. I give him a look, sigh and tell him he's awesome for coming along. I guess it wouldn't be much of an adventure if everything went as planned.